Available

The Floor

Ground floor opportunity. Actual ground floor.

The genuinely spectacular 1970s tiling directly underfoot. A humbling but unavoidable position for a brand.

The Floor — the real object this placement goes on — The real floor. This is where your logo goes.

No sponsor yet.

This placement has never been claimed. Whoever takes it first sets the floor for everyone who comes after.

Placement metrics

Parody — not measured data

None of the following are real analytics. They are jokes. We do not measure anything in this bathroom, and we would not tell you if we did.

Position: Beneath everything
Foot traffic: All of it
Existing pattern: Not our fault
Prestige: Debatable

Ownership history

Nobody has held this placement. The history begins with whoever buys it.

Opening price

$39

One-time payment. Not a subscription. Not an auction deposit.

Brand or project name*

Website*

Email*

For your receipt and confirmation.

X / Twitter handle

Optional.

Short tagline

Optional. Up to 90 characters.

Logo

PNG, JPG, WEBP, GIF or SVG. Up to 2 MB. Square or wide both work.

none

Optional — without one we show your brand name as text.

Before you pay, the important part:

You are paying to become the current sponsor of this placement. Not to own it permanently.
If someone later pays the higher takeover price, they replace you and your payment is not refunded.
This is a novelty sponsorship placement. No traffic, impressions, clicks, sales or return of any kind is guaranteed.
You keep your trademark. We may remove content that is illegal, hateful, deceptive or adult — see the sponsorship terms.

I understand I am buying the current placement, that someone can take it from me later by paying more, that being outbid is not itself grounds for a refund, and that no traffic or results are guaranteed.

Secure payment by Dodo Payments, our merchant of record. We never see your card details.